There have been a number of rumors recently that DC Comics may possibly be shutting down.

It seems Marvel wants to beat them to it as they have just announced two new characters to their line up, Snowflake and Safespace.

No, seriously.

This is a real thing.

Seriously.

The home of Spider-Man and Captain America which has been accused in the past of trying to be Social Justice Warriors is now not even trying to hide it.

Psychic Twins. “All twins are psychic, but we’re psychic-er.” Snowflake, a cryokinetic, can materialize snowflake-shaped shuriken projectiles for throwing. Safespace can materialize pink forcefields, but he can’t inhabit them himself, the reflex only works if he’s protecting others. They’re hyper aware of modern culture and optics, and they see their Super Heroics as “a post-ironic meditation on using violence to combat bullying.” They’re probably streaming this.

“Safespace is a big, burly, sort of stereotypical jock. He can create forcefields, but he can only trigger them if he’s protecting somebody else. Snowflake is non-binary and goes by they/them, and has the power to generate individual crystalized snowflake-shaped shurikens. The connotations of the word ‘snowflake’ in our culture right now are something fragile, and this is a character who is turning it into something sharp.

“Snowflake is the person who has the more offensive power, and Safespace is the person who has the more defensive power. The idea is that they would mirror each other and complement each other.”

The biggest shock in all of this is the number of people involved who actually thought this was a good idea. There were probably a million levels of approval that were needed and at no point no one with 1/2 a brain cell stood up and realized what a horrible idea this was.

The same people who think this is good are probably the same ones who cried out because they didn’t get enough Rose Tico in The Rise of Skywalker.

Marvel doesn’t know it’s own fan base anymore. What comic book fan is gonna buy into this?

You know it’s only a matter of time before these two are leading the Avengers.

They are part of a comic called The New Warriors. The New Warriors feature a group of what Marvel thinks are relevant heroes for these trying times.

One of the other characters in the group is an overweight teen cleverly called Trailblazer.

#SoFat #SoBrave

A regular kid scooped up into the world of teenage Super Heroing. Her “magic backpack” is actually a pocket dimension with seemingly infinite space, from which she can pull out useful or random objects—it’s not always under her control. She claims to get her power from god, but “not the god you’re thinking of.”

“Trailblazer wants to help people, but she doesn’t think of herself as a Super Hero (yet!),”  The Marvel Universe is a reflection of our own, and when a new law gets put into place, it affects people in unforeseen ways.”

The New Warriors first and hopefully last issue will hit stands April 15.