In this week’s Rush To Judge™ I will cast petty scorn or possibly begrudging praise upon Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War (05/04/2018).

Avengers Infinity War 1
Avengers: Infinity War. Is that everyone?

This is the 1st film of a two-part sequel to the second Avengers movie, making it the third Avengers movie, or the fourth if you count Captain America: Civil War as an Avengers sequel. You get the gist.

Avengers: Infinity War stars: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4154756/fullcredits

That’s a lot of star power and way too many people to list here. It’s pretty much everyone who has ever been in all of Marvel’s previous movies, and specifically everyone whose multi-picture contracts are up.

Who will survive the battle with the power-mad titan Thanos and who will be free to go and regret working with Woody Allen? Well here is the trailer, so let’s take a look:

My Take

Well right off the bat, Thanos’ head looks like my thumb. I am not digging his look. Furthermore, they have never convinced me, in any of the (8,9,10???) previous movies where he has shown up, that he is anything more than a nefarious, floating smirk. Thanos is mostly just a jerk.

Thanos' head looks like a thumb
Early Thanos concept art.

I know Marvel has a multi-movie spanning story arc and have been building to this big cosmic hullabaloo, but to me the only threads connecting each film to the next have been end-credit cameos and something about magic stones.

Is there really any sense of menace here? Does anybody really feel that this has all been building up to something explosive, that the fate of the world is at stake and it is all going to come to a head in this movie?

I think Marvel has been making this up as they go along, changing the story up as each movie produces bigger bucks than the last one.

And honestly, super armour=super power is getting tired. Why does Spiderman have to have a robot suit? Is Winter Soldier’s metal arm really going to swing this battle? At least they are bringing in some magic and psychedelic cosmic weirdness to mix it up a little.

Last but not least, these CGI effects have completely lost me. What I thought was clearly bad CGI in Captain America: Civil War, the Black Panther/Winter Soldier run and jump car chase scene, was actually real actors doing real stunts. WTF???

So the bad CGI is now so good it now makes the humans look fake? Is it that we know a person can’t move like that and CGI will never override the laws of physics visually? Or am I just getting tired of all the back flips off of cars?

The Result

Marvel”s output so far has been consistently acceptable. Weighed between the dreck(Guardians Of The Galaxy 2) and the surprisingly good(Captain America: Winter Soldier) they have produced solid, middle of the road, enjoyable family movies. The movie ticket-buying public seems to like them, and so do I.

These would be the greatest movies in the world if I was ten years old. Real live comic books! But I am 44 and do I think anyone will be talking about these movies in ten years? Not a chance.  I will watch this at home on a Saturday night with the wife and dogs and perfectly enjoy myself for the inevitable 3-hour run time this will have.(For the love of god edit these movies better!)

My Verdict: CHA-CHING! This makes a trillion dollars, easy.

55 COMMENTS

  1. I count 22 heroes in that poster (I couldn’t spot Ant Man though I’m pretty sure he’s in this too).

    Let’s say the movie is 150 minutes long. Assuming that RDJ gets half of the screen time as usual, and villains/ancillary characters get 15 minutes, that leaves just 60 minutes to be split 21 ways! Each character will have roughly 3 minutes to shine in this bloated mess.

    Shine on you crazy diamonds!

    • Didn’t seem to be a problem in Civil War. Unless you really want maximum Hawkeye. I really think the solo films alleviate a lot of this. They don’t have to waste time on origins or side trips to Asgard because the audience is familiar with everybody at this point and they can get away with monologing or just quickly rehashing anything that’s relevant to this movie without completely losing most viewers.

  2. i know this will make all the monies and that just makes me sad. marvel will continue to play it safe and reap the rewards from the masses…

    • These movies can be fun but forgettable. Something, something, cgi army pours out of a portal or sky hole, and the heroes rally at the last minute to win. Wash, rinse, repeat.

      I also never need to see any more than 30 seconds devoted to an origin story. But you know that when we get another Fantastic Four. they won’t be able to resist telling it all over again. Example, see Spider-Man.

      • Sometimes I don’t mind an origin story, the original Superman, Batman Begins, the original Spider-Man, Guardians of the Glxy etc, but at this point it’s getting pretty damn redundant. Ant Man really stands out as a by the numbers forgettable example of an origin story. As you said it’s all just so forgettable now. There’s no stakes and every movie feels the same, looks the same, has the same plot. Over it, unless somebody comes out with a real game changer in the vein of Nolan’s Batman films.

  3. I guess I’m just still amazed that they’ve pulled this off as well as they have (see what Warner Brothers is doing). Bring on all the back flips off of cars.

  4. Every time someone asks which movies I am looking forward to in 2018 I draw a blank… then a couple seconds later I think of this.

    • then a surprise cameo by the man of steel who will fly around the world altering the past to save the iron man with a “steel bests iron” quib and a smirk before exiting…
      soon after opening night we learn that dc and marvel have merged

    • You may be right about that.

      But Marvel has established via Doctor Strange that literally no one ever has to die again since he can easily rewind time for do overs.

        • He has to be getting a bit tired of doing the same thing over and over again. Sure, he’s making a mint, but the entertainment industry has a long history of people who walked in spite of enormous paydays.

          Dave Chapelle comes to mind. And The Beatles could have made a fortune with one reunion tour.

  5. I’m more excited for Captain Marvel than I am for Infinity War. Also more excited for the next Spiderman film than I am for this one. More excited for the next seasons of Daredevil and Jessica Jones than I am for this film. Actually, if I had to choose between Black Panther and Infinity War, I’d pick Black Panther. But I will definitely see Infinity War at some point.

    • “But I will definitely see Infinity War at some point.”. I would have liked to use that quote in the My Verdict paragraph.

  6. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 dreck? Really? I thought it was a fun time at the flicks, but hey.
    I actually don’t think marvel have produced a truly terrible film. A fair few average ones, but nothing that was a slog to sit through.

  7. Are there any movies worth shelling out to watch in a theater anymore? Besides gay porn that is – it’s a visceral experience that just can’t be duplicated at home!

  8. Well, I’m a 42 y/o idgit and these movies make me feel like a 10 y/o kid again when watching them. Therefore, I’m giddy as hell to see these Avenger films.
    Afterwards though? Nope. They built towards something for 10 years and I have zero interest if they want to build towards something else. The comics have a huge crossover event every year and it’s usually forgotten about when it’s over.

  9. Absolutely agree with your opinion on Thanos. He’s bad because the Avenger’s need an enemy. The whole “take over” or “destroy” your world thing is played out and stupid. What’s the point?

    It would be like me having some irrational grudge against an anthill in another state and taking the time to travel there and destroy or capture them. Waste of fucking time.

    • However, if the ants had some powerful rocks that you want to use to gain power, you probably would take the time to squash them to get them.

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