White old men want you to believe these are the same person

You’re Awake, By The Way

You’re not having a terrible, terrible dream.

Also, you’re not dead, and you haven’t gone to hell.

This is your life now.

This is our entertainment now.

This our DCEU. This is us. This is our comics.

Necessary Wokeness

Former hot, high school field hockey player and current genderfluid, corporate Deep State spokesmouth Rachel Maddow is going to be joining the cast of the Batwoman television show — a show that will be failing, and failing badly, once it debuts October 6th.

Remember, dads: field hockey, not even once.

Maddow, who once appeared to be a normal, happy American female until she went to college, will play the character of  Vesper Fairchild, a television and radio personality who was once romantically involved with Bruce Wayne. 

“Fish, which is my favorite dish, but without my politics, it’s still a wish.”

I’m sure Fairchild’s relationship with a man will be swept under the cape because not only don’t Ruby Rose’s Batwoman need no man, she don’t need no Batman or any white old man, for that matter.

Although Fairchild has a relationship with Green Arrow in one of the other nameless and forgettable CW DCEU comic book shows, there are no plans to have the Maddow version of the character even appear on screen, so any romantic speculation is moot.

Not a fucking chance.

 In a statement to The Hollywood Reporter, Batwoman showrunner Caroline Dries lied: 

“We consider Vesper Fairchild to be the sardonic Voice of Gotham. In addition to Rachel’s interest in Batwoman, we thought she’d be the perfect casting choice because her own hard-hitting journalism wildly contrasts Vesper’s penchant for snark, gossip and criticism of female superheroes.”

Time out, Green Bay.

Maddow “contrasts Vesper’s penchant for snark, gossip and criticism?”

The kent’s whole brand is snark, gossip and criticism! She’s the queen of double-ironic, dorm-room eye-rolling! 

When she’s not being very serious and very concerned:

The absolute state of these fucking Hollywood shills.

Hopefully, they expand Maddow’s role in the show and put her in front of the camera. Having her make out with the human sex doll Ruby Rose will probably boost the ratings for a week or two.

Maybe she can even play a superhero in her own right — I have one in mind.

Coming soon to Film Goblin — more Awkward Comic Book Moments!