Greetings, Programs!

Every so often we see Hollywood trying to force the “Next Big Star” onto us in multiple projects. Think Michael B. Jordon for the past few years, a relative no-one that is all of a sudden in multiple pictures in a year.

Most of them have been failures. For every Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Jordon, you get a bunch of the following:

Block Of Wood #1: Samuel Henry John Worthington

Remember this guy? He was going to be the biggest thing to take over the big screen. Instead, he pretty much destroyed two franchises Clash Of The Titans and The Terminator.

B.O. Facts

Terminator Salvation: $200 Million Budget, $125 Million Domestic Gross

Clash Of The Titans: $125 Million Budget, $163 Million Domestic Gross

Wrath Of The Titans: $150 Million Budget, $83 Million Domestic Gross

Avatar was a phenomenal smash hit despite Sam. It was more about James Cameron being back and groundbreaking 3-D cinematography. A block of wood could have been the star and it would have been a hit. Actually, they did and it still earned $2.7 Billion worldwide.

Trust Me, Avatar Will Be Your Only Success

We will see this walking piece of lumber in more Avatar sequels that no one seems too excited about.

Block Of Wood #2: Jai Courtney

Like Sam above, Jai has also damaged Terminator reboot #57 and was even worse than Justin Long in another Die Hard sequel that no one wanted.

B.O. Facts

A Good Day To Die Hard: $92 Million Budget, $67 Million Domestic Gross

Terminator Genisys: $155 Million Budget, $89 Million Domestic Gross

Being a baddie may be a better fit for him as he usually dies in the films like Divergence, Jack Reacher. Didn’t he die in Suicide Squad as well? I only watched that film once and frankly don’t remember much about it. I think he died.

Block Of Wood #3: Taylor Kitsch

A former model and TV star touted to be another ‘Big Thing’. He landed the lead role in two blockbusters in the same year, John Carter and Battleship.

Both failed miserably.

B.O. Facts

John Carter: $250 Million Budget, $73 Million Domestic Gross

Battleship: $209 Million Budget, $65 Million Domestic Gross

I Didn’t Know Rosie O’Donnell Was In This Movie!

If You Tell Anyone That I Was In This Turd, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.

Taylor may have found his niche as a supporting actor as he was quite good in Lone Survivor and Only The Brave.

Block Of Tofu: Jaden Smith

What can I say, other than the fact that nepotism is bad? Thankfully M. Night Shyamalan may have dealt the death blow in his movie career with After Earth.

B.O. Facts

After Earth: $130 Million Budget, $60 Million Domestic Gross

I guess he can go back to making out with his dad:

Block Of Cheese: Taylor Lautner

A TV and B-Movie star, Taylor got his big break in that classic 2005 movie The Adventures Of Sharkboy And Lavagirl 3-D, a story about, um, you know.

Your Future Doesn’t Look Too Good Shark Boy, Shitty Vampires And Mediocrity

Instead of ending his career, he was able to land a role in the Twilight Saga that plagued the world from 2008 to 2012. There he was able to show the world his acting chops, and the six-pack.

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He then went on be in epic films like Abduction, Tracers, The Ridiculous 6, and Run The Tide

Yeah, I had to look it up.

He has gone back to TV roles.

Worth Mentioning

Block Of Meh: Garrett Hedlund – Tron Legacy

Block Of Wood: Armie Hammer

From The Lone Ranger to Pedo-Man

Block Of Wood: Josh Hartnett

Passing on Superman may have been good for us, but probably ended his movie career.

Ryan Reynolds would have made this list if it wasn’t for Deadpool.

The Amityville Horror,  R.I.P.D., Green Lantern, Self/Less and other failures almost ended his carrier.

Let’s see what he is able to accomplish once that role is over.

Fair list, or should someone else be on it? Sound off below!

"You must learn all you can, then go back out into the world and give your learning back to the people" Mariah Watkins to George Washington Carver. CG has a Ph.D. In Woke Studies from The Wokeanda Institute