This Seems Pretty Legit

The YouTuber who dropped this review of an early draft of Colin Trevorrow’s Episode 9 script entitled Duel Of The Fates is none-other-than Robert Myer Burnett, a fairly well-known figure in Star Trek fandom. 

I only know him from his behind-the-scenes Star Trek gossip and commentary that he drops over on the excellent Midnight’s Edge channel, where he always seems to be one step ahead of the public pronouncements of CBS Viacom. 

His bio reads:

Best known for directing, co-writing and editing the award-winning cult favorite feature film FREE ENTERPRISE, starring Emmy winners William Shatner and Eric McCormack, Rob Burnett offers his own unique perspective on the entertainment industry in his daily “Robservations” video blogs.

So this guy is at least a tangential Hollywood player who would probably have access to an early draft of Star Wars Episode 9. There is also a greater-than-zero chance that Trevorrow — or his people — leaked the script in the face of TROS‘s failure.

Just listening to him describe his background in the industry as an agency reader makes me feel like this guy is absolutely on the level.

A Summary Of What’s In Duel Of The Fates

Based on Burnett’s description, Trevorrow was planning to give us:

  • More Rose Tico. Much more Rose Tico. She’s now some type of Mission Impossible demolitions expert.
  • The First Order has taken over Coruscant and reduced the population to begging in the streets. 
  • ReyFinnPoe steal a Star Destroyer.
  • Luke force-communicates with Kylo from beyond the grave, trying to coax him back from the Dark Side.
  • The First Order have “allies” in the form of mercenary bands and galactic warlords. They are worried about Rey being able to stop them. There is a scene similar to “a threat to your star fleet, commander, not to this battle station” from Star Wars.
  • There is an electronic “Lighting of The Beacons” scene similar to The Return Of The King.
  • Kylo gets zapped by the Emperor’s Holocube, leaving him hideously deformed, so he gets some Mandalorian armor melded to his body. 
  • Kylo has his own Dark Side Yoda in the form of a Tolkienesque alien — described as “Shelob-like” — who makes him fight a vision-quest Vader in a cave. 😐
  • This Dark Side alien is actually Palpatine’s master and was the backup plan: in the case that Luke killed The Emperor, Vader was to bring Luke to this evil being for reprogramming or something.
  • The Knights of Ren play a much bigger part and are identified by name.
  • A new lightsaber created from Rey’s staff and Luke’s broken lightsaber.
  • A lightsaber guillotine is used to execute traitors to the First Order.
  • No Emperor except in a holo-recording. 
  • No Death Star tech on Star Destroyers.
  • No Lando.
  • No McMuffins.

A lot of this stuff sounds pretty cool. At least compared to the everything bagel that is The Rise Of Skywalker

But they’re still suffering under the “Rey is muh real Chosen One” delusion.

Some Notable Lines Include:

Luke to Rey: “I know that anger. My father had it too.”

Luke to Kylo regarding Vader’s fortress: “This is where the dark path leads; an empty tomb.” (Of course, the Hollywood demon worshippers forget that an “empty tomb” is a good thing for 1.5 billion Christians.)

Kylo to the memory of Vader: “You allowed love to cloud your judgment.”

Rey: “It’s never too late to change. You taught me that, Finn.”

Leia: “You’re not like my father or my brother. You’re new. Whatever happens, remember the force choose you, Rey. Your story isn’t written by anyone else.”

Check It Out For Yourself

The script summary starts at around 20 minutes in: