In news that is surely a harbinger of the coming Apocalypse, cinematic pestilence in the compact form of a Kevin Hart is apparently going to remake Scrooged.

Bill Murray starred in the original 1988 comedy.  Now Paramount has been convinced that Hart, a man who was out-acted and out-comedied by a pair of tits on legs, and a former wrestler in Jumanji recently, can do a better job than Murray.  

Tits on legs. Far left.

There must be a gak surplus in Hollywood at the moment and they are hoovering it up in meetings even more than usual.

Richard Donner directed the modern retelling of Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol.  Bill Murray played the mean spirited TV executive visited by various ghosts who help him change his entire outlook and embrace Christmas.  Karen Allen, Bobcat Goldthwait and Robert Mitchum also starred.

It did average business at the box office hit but was quickly embraced in the home rental market and became a cult video smash.  Now it’s a regular Christmas staple.

A search for a writer to work with Hart is underway.  I wouldn’t bother applying though as mankind is clearly about to be purged from the planet with fire and brimstone.