You know, whenever I am watching a movie, I really cannot stop myself thinking “This movie could be better, if only it had more gays!” I find that the personal sexual choices of the characters, and which design of genitalia they lust after, really matters to me.
It’s more important to me than the storytelling, the direction, the cinematography and the score. And just so I am in no doubt whatsoever about the presence of the movie-improving gays, I think they should be massively, overtly gay. Flaming, mincing queens parading around in hot pants, lisping “We’re here, we’re queer! Get used to it!”
Oscars will follow.
Except, of course, I don’t. Because that would be fucking stupid. Hasn’t stopped Marvel though. They are all aboard the woke train now. Choo-choo motherfuckers!
Progressive Fascists have decided Marvel are not representative enough. They have been designated as #problematic and now the Progressive Fascist movement is, like, literally shaking right now. Oh my God, it can’t even.
Why? Not enough gays. Marvel is accused of ignoring LGBT characters. Just like any corporate entity does when faced with this kind of Progressive Fascism, they have panicked.
Upcoming MCU movie The Eternals was already going to feature the first openly gay superhero character. However, that’s not enough. More gays are required.
One person who had no choice whatsoever but to make all the right noises, or else his career would be over, is current Spider-Man actor Tom Holland. He had this to say in an interview with The Sunday Times.
Asked if he’d be okay with Spider-Man/Peter Parker being gay, he says:
“Yeah, of course. I can’t talk about the future of the character because honestly I don’t know and it’s out of my hands. But I do know a lot about the future of Marvel, and they are going to be representing lots of different people in the next few years.
The world isn’t as simple as a straight white guy. It doesn’t end there, and these films need to represent more than one type of person.”
Avengers: Endgame had a moment featuring an openly gay character. Proving once and for all that you just can’t win these days, it was simultaneously attacked for being both pointless pandering and being so inconsequential as to be insulting.
The Wokening will consume us all.