An Appropriately Diverse Couple Covers Up A Crime

That brown sound do get around.

There’s very little to actually say about this film beyond the synopsis:

Seven years into their relationship, Eric (Nanjiani) & Julie (Rae) have begun to realize that a majority of their time spent together consists of arguing. In a frustrating attempt to go out to eat, a sudden accident makes Eric & Julie murder suspects on the run. A night spent fleeing the cops and the real murderer gives them plenty of time to discuss their relationship. As their journey to clear their names takes them from one extreme – and hilarious – circumstance to the next, they must figure out how they, and their relationship, can survive the night.

Two things about this trailer right off the bat:

  1. This film showcases a very post-modern couple: Appropriately diverse, appropriately “woke,” and appropriately unable to meaningfully communicate outside of witty, stereotypical ethnic quips. No wonder they are in their seventh year of shacking up with each other.
  2. Of course, the white dudes are the carjackers and the murderers, except, statistics don’t lie: You’re more likely than not to get your car stolen in the street by an African-American fellow than a white one. And more likely to get murdered by a brown fellow than a pasty-gansta.’ But, we’re all “woke” in Hollywood so, go off.

There isn’t any need for you to know who the actors, directors, or producers of this thing are. But if you really want to know, go ask the women in your life. They’ve already put this trailer on loop.

Stanley Kubrick is Dead, So I Guess This is OK…

It’s been well over twenty years now since Eyes Wide Shut was released and the Millennial and post-Millennial audiences that this film is targeted to won’t get any of the mid-second act references.

You crap on Kubrick and call it a comedy. I call it an abomination.

Otherwise, there’s some standard and depressingly familiar plot fare here, in the mode of Get Out, The House, and Date Night: The white people are all incompetent, rednecks, or cops, and the heroes are all minorities performing in ways that actually reinforce stereotypes that they are seeking to overcome, rather than break them down.

Where’s Sydney Poitier when you need him?

What Are We To Make of All of This?

It’s really hard to call box office grosses and audience interest in films–even ones this bad–that fall in the romantic comedy genre.

Too many factors have to coalesce for a romantic comedy to be either a massive recent hit—like Love Actually—or a massive recent flop—like anything not Love Actually.

They Photoshopped the hell out of all of these people.

But, Paramount is premiering this beast at South by Southwest where all the tech-hipsters hang out, so there’s a pretty good possibility that this film will break-even with the Millennial and post-Millennial, Generation Z crowd looking to get out from behind YouTube and stare at a bigger screen for eighty-six minutes.

The Lovebirds goes wide on April 3, 2020.