It’s A Very Perplexing Situation, Madame
For about a year now, the more observant genre entertainment fans among us have been convinced that Lucasfilm would smile in our face and then pull a backstabbing reveal when we find long, luscious locks underneath the helmet of The Mandalorian.
Long, luscious, dark locks, because this is 2019 and blondes can only be strippers.
Now We Have A Suspect
This is Julia Jones.
She’s been cast to play an unknown character in The Mandalorian.
You might recognize her as Leah Clearwater from the Twilight franchise and most recently as the drug dealer Viking’s ex-wife in Cold Pursuit.
According to Deadline, who broke the story today, there is no word from Disney or Lucasfilm on the nature of Jones’ role, nor any clue about how the character might fit into the first season of The Mandalorian.
Keeping her involvement a secret until now and then hiding her character is kind of bizarre given that Disney has announced the roles of the other actors involved.
But we know exactly how she’s going to fit into the series, don’t we, boys?
Try To Follow Me, Counselor
Pedro Pascal, the actor who is allegedly going to be donning the Boba Fett-style gear for The Mandalorian, is 5’11”.
Does this look like a 5′ 11″ man to you?
Or is that a 5′ 8″ woman?
Which just so happens to be the height of one Julia Jones.
However, observe the size of the arms, the legs, the torso.
Now, tell me that you don’t have more than a few questions?
Look, no one can ever accuse Pascal of having anything resembling a male body type, unless you want to call it a 2019 Approved Male Body Type.
Little muscle, non-confrontation, low T levels, very high THC levels.
I guess it could be him?
Hold On A Minute Here…
Look at the screencap from the trailer.
Look at how it is shot from that low angle and very close to the subject as to not show the height of The Mandalorian compared to the door.
Now, look at this screencap.
This one is shot from dead center.
And even if you consider that The Mandalorian has
his their head tilted slightly down and the robot is walking behind the human as a sign of deference, that is a huge height difference.
One More Thing, Mrs. Kennedy…
Is that Julia Jones?
If it is, it hardly matters.
This could be a flashback to give her good-guy motivations for hunting down and throwing people in carbonite in exchange for Republic credits — because money and freedom aren’t good enough reasons to become a bounty hunter in the brave new Star Wars.
It could be The Mandalorian‘s mother being played by an older actress who looks like Jones. Or maybe Julia Jones is playing the mother?
Who knows. As I said: a very confusing series of developments.
Keep your eyes open, men. These women are crafty creatures.