G.I. Joe Could Be a Great Franchise

All a studio has to do is make the characters real, make the confrontations personal, make the stakes high without being world-ending.

It’s beyond simple: copy the look and feel of Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Instead, Paramount decided to do a moronic comic book movie of the worst kind and blow up London with space weapons.

And just like that, G.I. Joe was ruined.


When I first heard Paramount was race-swapping Henry Golding into the Snake Eyes movie, I thought there was a chance that they might be taking the approach Fox took with the X-Men in 2000. 

Strip it down, let the actors shine. Golding is a serious actor and a comer. 

Even when it was announced that Baroness was going to be included in the movie, I figured that the endeavor might benefit from a femme-fatale terrorist.

It could still be grounded.

But when Paramount decided to cast Snake Eyes’ love interest and fellow G.I. Joe member, the red-headed counter-intel expert Scarlett, it was time to face reality: it’s going to be another stupid comic book movie.

So, I’m not fooled by this photo Henry Golding shared:

And you shouldn’t be either.

Paramount is a Bunch of Losers

They can’t make a good Star Trek movie.

They can’t make a good Terminator movie.

They can’t make a good Will Smith action movie.

They can’t make a good Transformers movie.

They have Tom Cruise and Chris McQuarrie and still can’t make a Mission: Impossible movie that anyone wants to see twice!

They will not be able to make a good G.I. Joe movie.

Just look at the logo:

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