Hi! Iggy here! And guess what?

I Absolutely Refuse To See Black Panther

This Is Black Panther
Marvel Studios’ BLACK PANTHER. T’Challa/Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman). Photo: Matt Kennedy. ©Marvel Studios 2018

“WHAT?” I hear you asking!

“How can you, King of the Geeks — a man who has seen every Marvel movie dozens and even hundreds of times — say that you refuse to see Black Panther?”

The reason is simple. I am a white male, according to my scale a lot of white male, and I have no right to see this movie. Not right now. Not in this historical moment.

This is a moment that is meant for minorities, immigrants and especially African-American women and men. This isn’t a moment for the ancestors of their oppressors, like me.

And it would be wrong for me, as an obvious and very-difficult-to-miss Caucasian male, to crash the party and sully the experience of these enthusiastic minority audiences with my presence. I would be an unpleasant reminder of what my white ancestors stole from them, and the horrible things President Trump is doing now. And this is not a time for them to be thinking about the Racist-in-Chief, they should be dreaming of living in wonderful Wakanda!

Wakanda would be the best place to live, ever, because it’s all about justice and stuff and they won’t let anybody from the outside world into their wealthy, powerful country! If that’s not Utopia, I don’t know what is! Did I say Wakanda? I meant #Woke-anda!

Black Panther Is Sold Out Everywhere!

It would also be wrong for me to buy a ticket, when there might be some young African-American boy or girl going to see the movie, and I effectively steal that ticket from that person by purchasing it before them. It would be as if I were oppressing them all over again, and I won’t do that.

forrest-gump-black-panther
People who deserve to see Black Panther would be entirely right to be angry at me for crashing their party like Forrest Gump! Oh, Forrest. Won’t you ever learn?

To be clear, if I had been invited to attend a critics screening by Marvel, or if one of the actors had thought to invite me to one of the openings — if I had been invited to the celebration — I would have, of course, gone.

In fact, if someone from the studio overnights me some tickets to Black Panther I will, of course, go. I mean, first I’ll look for some underprivileged minority children to give the tickets to, but when I don’t find any, I will definitely go. And then I will write a very thorough and almost-certainly glowing review of Black Panther! But only if I’m certain I’m not hurting any minorities by doing so.

black-panther-on-one-of-many-cars
I will only go see Black Panther during its initial theater run if someone sends me free tickets or invites me to a free screening where I am guaranteed the tickets have not been stolen from a more-deserving minority. Because I have principles and believe in justice.

So How Can We Tell If Its Good?

I know you guys were hoping to click on this link and read a fresh review from King Geek. And I wanted to give you one, I swear! But I cannot, not right now, because I have principles I just can’t compromise. So until someone sends me some free tickets (I need two, for medical reasons) I just can’t do it.

But what I can do is use Google. So let’s do a patented King Geek Deep Dive™ to see what the best critics that I 100% agree with are saying about Black Panther (Directed by the amazing Ryan Coogler and starring Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, the beautiful Lupita Nyong’o, Danai Gurira, Forest Whitaker, Forence Kasumba and, unfortunately, a few white people like Andy Serkis and Martin Freeman).

black-panther-main-poster-image
I can’t give you a review of Black Panther right now, but other people whose ancestors don’t have a history of oppressing and exploiting minorities can.

Diving Deep Into The Justice

Rebecca Keegan, who is super-white, apparently got to see it. I hope that didn’t diminish the viewing experience for the minority patrons who deserved to be there. Anyway, she points out that it’s the first super-hero movie that has a REAL STORY, although she’s sort of vague as to whether she’s ever seen any other superhero movies. But I’m not going to disagree with a strong and powerful women. I don’t need any more trouble on that front!

Erik Davis says it’s “dope AF”. I feel like he may be guilty of cultural appropriation here, and I hope he didn’t use a ticket that would have been better used by a underprivileged African-American. Still, he makes the movie sound GREAT!

Adam B. Vary is like super-white. I mean, whiter than me, and I’m pretty Caucasian. And he says Black Panther explores “profound images of black excellence” which is an interesting phrase I wouldn’t feel comfortable using there, but I think it illustrates why Black Panther must be a better superhero movie that what has come before. Damn if they don’t have me excited!

I Want To See Black Panther So Bad
I really wish someone would send me some non-exploitive free tickets so I could see Black Panther and give it a great review.

Jesse Joho says Black Panther will change the landscape of superhero movies forever. She’s also very Caucasian. Why are all these reviewers lily-white? I’m beginning to get a little uncomfortable here.

Whew! Finally found a qualified reviewer:

Her review points out the shameful lack of minority action figures before Black Panther.

While I don’t want to diminish her pain in any way, I too felt that pain when I was a child. I was a very rotund little boy and it was impossible to find action figures that accurately represented people of my girth. This is still too difficult, in my opinion, but this isn’t about me. Maybe one day!

fat-albert-black-panther
As a child and even today it has been hard to find action figures that look like me. That is, full-figured!

Tre’vell Anderson reminds us that the entire world is run on the backs of black people, and Black Panther reminds us of that:

It’s true, too. Prove it to yourself: replace the word “black” with “white” in that Tweet and see how silly it sounds.

Honestly, I’ve never been more ashamed of my race than I am now, reading these comments from these thoughtful people. I’m ashamed of all white people that it took so long to get this level of African-America superhero movie made.

wesley-snipes-black-panther
Wesley Snipes was the original Black Super Hero in Marvel Studio’s Blade: Dawn of Justice.

I Know Wakanda I’m Talking About

And before you start bitching in the comments, yes I know it’s not the first black superhero movie ever made! I’m King Geek! You know I remember Blade. And Spawn. And they are great movies but clearly no Black Panther. They also scrupulously avoided putting the word Black in their titles or having their characters obviously come from Africa. So, fine films, but without the profound message that Black Panther obviously has.

Boy, there are a lot more great reviews out there. Hopefully some of my assistant Goblins here will be providing more examples of the great and thoughtful praise being directed at this movie. Maybe some will even review it before I can! Although I hope they didn’t buy a ticket that might have gone to someone more deserving, and then neglected to tell me!

Black Panther Isn’t For White People

I totally get why these guys don’t think I should get to see Black Panther. And you know what? I agree with them! Unless someone sends me some tickets. I need two.

I’ll just finish with this thought that I think best explains why I am refusing to go see Black Panther. It’s not just because the studio didn’t invite me to a premiere or send me a free screener like they used to.

It’s because as white people, this movie doesn’t belong to us. It belongs to the minorities and especially the African-Americans who have suffered because of us.

And by us, I don’t mean film critics — I mean all white European-Americans.

It just makes me angry that Wakanda could have been real and we might all have flying cars and be living in a utopia right now, if not for colonialism. Colonialism by white people. As usual, HuffPo has the right take:

“Wakanda is an interesting look at where African nations could have been had it not been for colonialism, but the reality is that every African nation has been impacted by the negative legacy of colonial domination and this has hindered Africa’s development ever since.”

That’s right. Read that article, because it proves that Black Panther isn’t just the best superhero movie ever, it’s also the best history lesson white people all over the world need to be learning right now.

Man, I can’t wait until I can see this without oppressing anyone. If there is a showing where my attendance would be welcome and the studio would like my input, please send two tickets to Ignatius G. Roeper, c/o FilmGoblin.com. Thanks in advance!

Finally, make sure you check out Knitting Knerd’s delicious Black Panther Piri Piri on Tales from the Pantry! It sounds so delicious I wish she would send me some.

Keep it chilly, Peeps!

King Geek out!

 

Ignatius Roeper lives with this parents in Akron, Ohio (but not in the basement!). His father owns Akron's premier curio and antique shop, Bongs and Hashpipes, while his mother works as a cocktail executive at the exclusive Club Platinum. Having taught himself to read with his father's collection of Richie Rich, Hot Stuff, and Little Lotta comic books by the age of two, his parents recognized his precociousness and soon introduced him to the many pleasures of R-rated cinema, knowing that even at such a tender age, he was mature enough to appreciate such adult entertainment. By the age of 12, he had amassed a collection of thousands of films for his Sony Betamax, and had a collection of over 10,000 comic books, many of them not Richie Rich or Little Lotta! As well, his collection of toys, action figures, maquettes, movie posters, and memorabilia had expanded so massively that they threatened to overwhelm their cozy home. According to Mr. Roeper's self-published autobiography, Iggy Knows It All, his matchless knowledge of all things film and entertainment quickly garnered him a reputation, and he often found himself being visited, and even consulted on script and movies, by numerous Hollywood professionals, who gave him the well-deserved title: King Geek. He flatly denies that the name was in fact given to him by his fellow students at Jennings Middle School as they punched him in the head and threw him in the dumpster after he'd brought his entire collection of Sailor Moon figurines to school as part of a "multimedia" report on the country of Japan. While he admits things have been a little difficult for King Geek since he lost his job at the Chapel Hill Mall Blockbuster video in 2002, he's finally found a home at FilmGoblin, and looks forward to once again telling aspiring geeks, and his loyal fans, what to think and how to feel about the movies and TV shows that bring us all together. And he totally does not live in the basement. He has both a room and an office on the 3rd floor of his parents' house. Take that, haters!

373 COMMENTS

    • I’ve seen the other Marvel movies dozens if not hundreds of times (my frequent consumption of edibles occasionally makes me lose count). No doubt, when I get the Blu-Ray of Black Panther, it will be the same (and if anyone would like to send me a free one, please contact me).

      That being said, I am avoiding Black Panther for reasons of fairness and justice, and letting those more deserving go first. The way it should be. I hope everyone else follows my example, or at least sends me some tickets.

  1. Honestly was hoping for Harry shtick here about sleeping with a Black Panther stuffed animal as a child and finally feeling all woke.

    • I did! Someone keeps editing my stuff! Apparently, “soliciting free stuff” is not considered cool here for some reason!

      Make no mistake, I am glad they took me on, but I confess I don’t see eye-to-eye with some of the management style.

      Apparently studio gifts are a no-no as well. I’m not sure the management even understands quality film criticism!

  2. One must not mistake the lone tweets of various kooks on twitter as the voice of society or the current narrative. If one were to cherry pick crazy tweets by unknown people, any narrative can be created.

    When you look at movies which have been hyped as social justice movies which have bigger meanings to society beyond just what’s on screen, there’s this one, there’s Wonder Woman, there’s the recent Star Wars, and there’s the recent Ghostbusters.

    Star Wars and Ghostbusters made a mistake which the other two have not. Once a franchise is created and out out there, it no longer belongs just to the creator. Ownership is shared with the fans. Fans have shared life experiences with those films, they buy the merch, and they live in those worlds. In the case of Ghostbusters, that was combined with a hope of seeing their beloved Ghostbusters return in a sequel as teased by Akroyd for decades. The studio took something which already belonged to the fans and changed it, ridiculed those same fans while milking them for money, and turned out a product which just wasn’t good. Fan outrage was warranted and then they were labeled misogynists.

    Star Wars is slightly different. The creator, Lucas, has been fucking up the franchise since the 90’s. There’s been ample time for SW fans to grieve their beloved franchise or just accept that the original triology can’t be replaced. There’s plenty to dislike about the new trilogy and spinoffs, but what one chooses to be upset with says more about the person than the franchise, like if their main criticism is the progressive elements in the new films, and not the story, characters, etc.

    Wonder Woman and Black Panther, however, have belonged to the fans of the comic books for decades, and the movies are delivering the same thing that the fans of the comics would enjoy, especially in terms of which progressive elements it supports, so I don’t get the dissappointment. If you feel ostracized because of random tweets by kooks on twitter, that’s on you.

    • “progressive elements” should be kept out of a space fantasy. We don’t want or need the lessons. It’s not the place for it. You’re sounding like JJ Abraham and blaming the fans because the controllers decided to inject their politics into it as if their politics are the RIGHT POLITICS. Which is what you are doing.

      • Part of the problem with Star Wars and the progressive elements is it was heavy-handed and the execution was terrible. Also, progressive elements were merely an excuse to increase market appeal, so it was disingenuous. As disingenuous as that casino scene showing the evil rich people when Disney is as evil as it gets. It also interfered with the story and characters as plotlines were shoehorned in that made no sense. The progressive elements were a lie and a marketing tool to get as large a market as possible.

        Black Panther is different in that sense.

        With regards to progressive elements being kept out of space fantasy, science fiction, the best science fiction, makes comments on society and politics. But it’s all in the execution.

        • Science fiction is specifically where you expect “progressive elements” to exist more than any other genre.

          TLJ’s biggest problem seems to be shitting on Luke too much.

          Mythology on TFA and TLJ is a mess too, but The prequels already messed those up worse.

          • I agree that Star Wars is far closer the straight fantasy a la lord of the rings, than it is to Science fiction.

            And a film will always reflect the sensibilities and social norms of the creators for the period in which the creators live.

      • It’s impossible to escape “lessons”, TP. Just because it’s challenging doesn’t mean it shouldn’t exist. It also doesn’t mean others shouldn’t have opinions that differ from yours, which is what it sounds like you’re insinuating.

        • SHOW don’t tell. #1 rule of making movies.

          You want to send a message, use western union.

          Star Wars is not the place for “challenging” or opinions. It shouldn’t be a platform for ANYTHING except universal values. AND not the trash values of equality, diversity, whatever… those are not values… those are bullshit outcomes.

          • The article is about Black Panther. I guess I didn’t see you were focusing on Star Wars. I can agree the storytelling of Disney’s Star Wars isn’t on par with pre-SE OT Star Wars. It does have some very deliberate choices for reaching a very specific audience. I’ll agree, it’s not great and it does feel disrespectful to that legacy. However, I don’t think the changes have nearly as much to do with political agenda as they have a marketing one.

  3. TP, the blurb for this article could match the hyperbole that is heaped upon this movie.

    “The single most important article on Black Panther you will ever read!”

    • Fortunately, a ticket was purchased for me . . . by a woman! So it was my obligation, even my duty, to go see it. And of course I have the Blu-Ray now and have seen it dozens of times. An amazing film. I’m glad I lived to see Wonder Woman finally realized on the Big Screen! In fact, since I can’t in good conscious go watch Black Panther, I think I’m going to put that Blu-Ray in now!

  4. Is this film any actual GOOD, or what? Or is that now irrelevant?

    This is funny and all, and I totally understand it. But I’m sometimes confused at the reactions. Look at 60s Star Trek. No show ever pushed a manifesto like it. Interracial kisses, russian crewmen, peace & love etc. This isn’t a thing that’s only appeared in the last couple of years, is it?

    • It’s a pretty typical Marvel movie. If you think that’s the height of cinema, you’ll probably love this too. But if you think Marvel is generally disposable popcorn (as I do), you’ll probably be confused about what the fuss is about.

      The backlash is due to TBP being crowned the greatest movie ever simply because of the predominant skin tone of the cast.

      • Has it been crowned that though? I’ve only seen about 3 or 4 marvel movies and share your opinion. I’m just bemused as to the size of this backlash. Kind of seems overkill to me.

        • It’s being touted as some cultural achievement and I don’t understand why.
          I just saw it last night and, though a very fun movie with some pacing issues and a strong second act, it is by NO means a groundbreaker or watershed moment for cinema.
          Disney marketed it to the demographic that would politicize it the most and they succeeded.
          The reviews in the positive, not all but most, are confusing in their holding the film aloft as some instant classic.

    • The TOS was ground breaking. While JJ Abrams certainly took the franchise in fascinating new directions, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for the TOS and how ground breaking it was in depicting a much more equitable future society! Here’s hoping it one day comes to pass.

  5. Just for the record (and yeah it’s a bunch of freaking records), $201.8 million fri-sun, and $235 million fri-mon*. It looks like all this carefully planned backlash raised awareness of the film and caused it to break all opening records for a non-summer film release. So to all who participated in this oh so productive backlash and social media raging, Feige, Coogler, & company say “thank you!”

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/scottmendelson/2018/02/19/black-panther-all-the-box-office-records-it-broke-and-almost-broke-in-its-235m-debut/

    * Monday’s not over but the tickets have pretty much already been sold.

    • Thats not true and you know it. It wasn’t backlash that caused those numbers. It was the planned pandering Disney and company executed perfectly. And as far as that is concerned I am certainly happy people are getting positives for themselves from this. People loving a movie is completely fine.

      But for you to say it was the social media raging that pushed this to those numbers, sorry thats not true.

      • Of Course it helped.

        Thousands of articles hyping it, thousands of responses and reposting and casual outrage at the hype and virtue signaling. Every time somebody reposted a response about Black Panther generates more free publicity, regardless of whether the comment is positive or negative.

        Black Panther built up over the course of weeks from <$100 million opening projected, to $235 million opening actual, on the back of all this social media hype, and a lot of it was the back and forth discussion and yeah, the rage at SJW virtue signaling as well. People are curious what the buzz is about and want to find out so they can comment too.

        Remember the recent kerfuffle with the social influencer who wanted a free room at a hotel and all the criticism she got and the hotel got for its response? Well all it did ultimately was gain them both a lot more followers around the world.

        • That hype was a free flowing madhouse way before any of the backlash started. Go look at twitter, THE social media outlet right now. The tweets range from positives about how amazing the movie is to the craziness talked about in this article and a few others. Its not the negativity pushing this machine at all!

          This has been a carefully constructed assault by Disney and it worked perfectly. Like I said, good for them. Good for everyone, but you can’t spin this one on the naysayers. They were lost in the flood long ago.

          • So are you arguing that the anti-Black Panther backlash is tiny, “lost in the flood”, and that it’s just a few fringe people who had no effect on the ultimate outcome?

            I had been under the impression that the backlash represented the “ignored common sense mainstream”.

          • Most people are not even saying the movie is bad? People are upset because of the ridiculous people who have been saying ultra ridiculous things about a SUPER HERO movie.

            I’m all for people being happy they are represented and the fact that the had a mostly black cast. I would love nothing more than for this to be a common thing and then they can make terrible movies just like white people do and we can stop talking about it like its going to “save” everything.

            Hint: its not.

          • I don’t think so. There are a few different reasons for nay-saying. Some are attention seeking, others are just awful. Most are somewhere in between.

    • “carefully planned backlash”… hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

      It broke no actual first tier records… NONE.

      Biggest February Open is a second tier record…

  6. Sit on it, Natasha Alford.

    I grew up never seeing a superhero that looked like me. And guess what? I latched on to the *ideals* that they represented. If kids today can’t do that, and need it to be spelled out for them, they’re fucked.

    • Sometimes it is cool to see something you can identify with. Everybody is going to have their own perspective. Why is it upsetting? I can see wanting people to be sympathetic and identify with each other regardless of their differences. Why be upset at all?

      It’s a superhero movie. It may mean a lot to some people and less to others. So what? At the end of the day, it all boils down to perspective. The person who believes they have that market cornered could probably use quite a bit more.

    • “I never grew up seeing a superhero that looked like me.”

      And now you use Harrison Ford as your avatar because, like me, Indiana Jones/Han Solo was your hero because super hero movies weren’t a thing (apart from Reeve’s Superman) and you didn’t see a superhero that looked like you. But now that superhero movies are everywhere, is it that troubling that someone else be represented and that kids can identify physically with their heroes?

      Also, whenever someone makes a comment like “I experienced such and such in childhood and I turned out just fine”, those people are never truly aware of their own blindspots, and how different they might have been had their childhood been different. For example, almost every guy who has ever said to me “my parents beat me and I turned out just fine” has no idea that they are a complete asshole.

      • I think you make some great points but that last point is a little out there…maybe those people were assholes to you, but that doesn’t prove a correlation with them not getting beaten as a kid either.

        I think HTR is pretty cognizant of himself and the ability to recognize whether seeing someone like him on screen. Im sure if there was a movie starring and crewed by people of mexican descent he would be pretty stoked….but at the same time I don’t think he would be talking about how its going to change the movie landscape forever and save movies in general. Im happy for everyone who is excited by this, I also want to have the ability to judge this not on it’s merits and not be pushed to one opinion because its good for the movie industry.

        Like I said before I hope they keep making movies with all one race or another so they can make bad movies just like white people do and we can just go back to watching movies for movies.

      • Yes. It is troubling.

        It’s troubling because we are coddling children. I looked up to Han and Luke (superheroes in my book) because they were badasses who fought hard. I imagined myself being that kind of person.

        Skin color should never matter. These people are making it matter and causing the same division in society that has always existed. Only now they’re turning it in their…favor?…direction?…advantage?

        My best friends in school were Ernie Rocha (Mexican), Corey Powell (black), and John Yoo (Korean).

        Guess who we all idolized in the Star Wars movies.

        • Though I get what you’re saying, my own experience in any work environment or social setting i have event been in, being black has never been an “advantage” over the long haul. And it’s worse here in the south. The majority of people (with any race) are mostly cool, like you, and dont make a huge deal of color, but even as a “model minority”, dealing with the racist subset of people is upsetting. If I had grown up putting up with the shit some of my black friends have had to routinely deal with, i would have killed somebody by now.

          Black panther month is once a decade and mLK day might come once a year…. but “many people treat you worse if you’re black day” is every day of the year.

      • “For example, almost every guy who has ever said to me “my parents beat me and I turned out just fine” has no idea that they are a complete asshole.”

        Yep. Not COMPLETE assholes… but yeah a lot.

      • People who were beaten by their alcoholic parents, or just had alcoholic parents all become actors, comedians or politicians. Public performers share a common thread.

    • As a person of mildly mixed heritage, I’m proud (or at least not ashamed) to say that I grew up on The Jeffersons, Sanford and Son and Welcome Back, Kotter (among other TV shows). Loved ’em all as a kid.

  7. As a white man, and Disney shareholder, I’m almost ashamed to be taking the profit from this BRILLIANTLY marketed, “revolution” in cinema; almost.

      • I already donated all my last dividend at this inner city dance recital hall here in town. The girls are OBVIOUSLY victims of white male patriarchy…so I make sure to reward them generously and buy plenty of ginger ale and cokes.

  8. Ignatius you have every right to see this film. Don’t forget, it was your great-grandmother who introduced integration into Texas’ Pee Wee Hockey league at the end of the Boer War.

  9. As a human I refuse to see Star Wars since they’re all aliens… unless they invite me on set when they film the next movie.

  10. Disney conned people into thinking that this superhero movie is somehow greater than what it is.

    The tropes found in Barber Shop exist still in Black Panther. We should all ask why Disney had the Wakandans fight their civil war with spears and knives, riding atop white rhinos?

  11. First I was an AICN refugee, then I was a Stu refugee. This must be what it feels like to be men without a country.

    Then again, it’s tough to get excited about a new place when the only thing to talk about is the same old franchised bullshit. I had to think real hard about movies I’ve liked over the past five years, and all I could come up with is Nightcrawler, Side Effects and The Guard.

  12. What is this movie all about? I haven’t heard a thing about it. If Apocolypto taught me anything at all, it’s to watch out for black panthers.

    • Gandolf says that this reviewer doesn’t quite understand the motives behind various clumsily implemented narratives of the movie, so both him and the writers of the film are wrong and that’s why actions speak louder than words.

      • You are dude.. Full fledged.

        Just hope you live long enough to realise and understand that no one wins the “race” in racisim.

        • I’m not racist, I’m a culturist, black people are not better or worse due to their skin color, American blacks are worse because their culture has made them victims and weaklings.

          • Not so, if you took the time to properly know and understand that much of the difficultys that currently afflict my people are due to the psychological effects and sociological ramifications of slavery,as well as the nonsensical notion held by a select few of us that it’s possible to be able to create and maintain a kingdom within “anothers”and the on going crusade by the racist elements within the dominant culture to keep us perpetually intomed in economic bondage unto the point of being forced into surfdom . Also add to the fact that Wars of any and evey sort are quietly,overtly and indirectly being made upon us on all fronts of the known globe, by the other industrialized kingdoms,kingdoms that we once subjugated under our rule centurys ago,a rule that eventually evolved into the same sort of deseposisim we see today. that all being said, when one with true discernment is cognasiant of these unpleasant facts, that are ultimately being brought to bare upon the people that you speak of thru no fault of there own, with such revolting distain, thru the guise of your “culture”no less, it’s clear that you are not considering the facts evenly and ultimately honestly for themselves for what they are,nor within the symboite circle they serve to form and facilitate, as they directly relates to you,your culture and it’s place in this country if not the world, for if you could. It would be not hard to see that when we as a people, until we have a true sovereignty in our hearts and amongst ourselves (and also economicly)that well always have trouble restablishing ourselves on a planet that we once ruled and we’re violently dethroned from.

          • what a load of mumbo jumbo. keep making excuses, it’s cute, but your culture still sucks and is the cause of most of the violence in the country if not the world

          • I would rest it up against your head ,boy. You aren’t a man, just another juvenile delinquent all grown up. I would tell you to go take something for that, but you’re probably to proud to pick the cotton out of the medicine bottle.

    • Christopher Lebron should make his own damn movie. His main complaint seems to be that they didn’t make rhe specific movie he wanted, from a POV that not many people want to hear.

    • As much as I support a fair breakdown of a movie’s flaws (especially an uber-hyped one like this) this reviewer (Lebron) parrots a lot of the same, tired bullshit I’ve heard for years.

      • Yeah, the people hating this movie for reasons outside of film criticism are truly pathetic.. (including this writer of this very article) another passive aggressive racist with a axe to grind because he has to give credit where he normally wouldn’t.. If it can even truly be relegated to that givin just how backhanded this guy’s “complements” of the film are it is.

  13. All of this superhero movie bullshit would never have happened if guys like Brian DePalma and Marty Scorsese were still alive.

    • Indeed, though compared to the old days, when each of my reviews would get thousands of comments heaping praise upon my insights, it’s a little disheartening. Although if some studio wanted to send me some pre-release Solo movie merchandise, that would help me feel better.

  14. I put this article up on one of my fb shitposting groups. Watching people react to the headline without reading the article is one of my great pleasures.

  15. Whoever wrote this article is a fucking lunatic and anyone who thinks self imposed segregation or whatever sjw guilt shit you want to call this is a good idea is a lunatic also. This is MORE RACIST. How have we gotten to this point? This is truly insane.

  16. Disney. Why do they need to show that his Daddy was flawed? Black Panther 2 will have the hero fend off challenges from multiple kids, from multiple women, claiming to be the illegitimate children of Black Panther’s dad.

    • This is exactly the problem I wanted to make sure I did not contribute to! As so typically happens, African-Americans have been prevented from experience Black Panther because caucasians such as yourself went in and snapped up all the tickets.

      For shame, Queefer. For shame!

      I am going to stick to my guns on this matter, and not take tickets away from a more deserving minority, unless and until I’m invited to an exclusive screening or someone sends me free tickets. Only then will I post my sure-to-be-glowing review!

      • That’s not why, actually. I was traveling, and was in an extremely white city. I saw almost nobody of color there. Trump would love the place.

        • This is not a dig aimed at you in particular, but just a general observation…

          Which committee approved the use of the phrase “person of color” or POC, as I’ve seen it used? This seems even more dismissive of individuals than the usual “black” or “African-American” or whatever is the label of the week.

          And if this is the trendy term this year, shouldn’t light skinned people be referred to as “people of discoloration” or some such nonsense?

          Identity politics bugs the hell out me.

          • Minorities that have been stripped of their rights, or never afforded them, for hundreds of years tend to need some kind of new identity when gaining those rights. Whites have been in charge the entire time, why do we need a new designation? I see this nothing more than a step in societal evolution. It doesn’t bother me one bit. Jesus, white folk are still soundly in charge, make no mistake over that. Are we so insecure that we can’t allow other people to find their way in a world that has largely been shutting them out?

          • How about the Chinese? Any “concern” about them being in charge? Where are the movements within China screaming about “nonwoke” policies there? I think the entire thing is absurd.

          • QUIT dude… you do not have a let to stand on… so you QUIT!

            LOLOLOLOLOL. Get off this site if you can’t discuss reality without insulting the little people.

            Punch up not down, pussy.

          • The fact that you have so much time to troll people says a lot about what must be a very sad life. I thought you were pathetic on AICN and now I just feel sorry for you.

          • No you don’t. That’s a leftist passive-aggressive version of an insult. It means that you are on the ropes. Let me help you with the rest of your insults… they are quite rote:

            1) Living in Mom’s basement
            2) a 40 YO virgin / no life (you used that)
            3) a Racist/Sexism/Misogonistic
            4) a Fanboy
            5) someone to be pitied (you used that)
            6) someone who just can’t have “fun”
            7) Just wont move on from the past and live in the moment
            8) It’s the current year

            You’re a walking cliche.

            This is my site so I am here all the time. I organized all this. I run this place. I did what Stu or anyone else from AICN couldn’t do. Why? Because I’m the real man you’ve always been afraid of. I’m the truth that shatters your world, daffodil.

            Again I’m not trolling anyone… I’m trying to help you, Bilbo.

            Or just cry, white boy! CRY!

          • HAHAHAHAHA! I don’t fear you, or your kind. Grow up, junior. I’m glad you’re the king of your little hill here. How fun for you. In the meantime, I’ve sold a screenplay, am presently working with the director and making more money than I know what to do with. And I’m already working on the sequel. Maybe it’ll even end up being reviewed on this site. Maybe you’ll even like it, but you’ll never know I was behind it.

            Enjoy your sad little movie site.

          • Everyone is George Lucas on the internet.

            But we all know that I have your number. You didn’t come here to talk movies, you didn’t come here to give an opinion, you came here to insult people.

            Which you did. In a very feminine way. You can go now, back to Dark Horizons.

          • Actually, Troll, before you came around, I had a number of decent conversations with others on your site. I’ve discussed movies far more than you have in my time. You seem to spend most of your time attacking others, and calling them names.

            Yes, I have my ugly moments, I admit that. We are all triggered by certain things. But you’re the one who attacked me here first, instead of asking why I said the thing that triggered you. So I’ll take some of the blame, but you know full well that when somebody disagrees with you, you become nothing but a petulant name-caller. You can’t discuss anything, you can only attack, and as such, you invite attacks.

            That is why I feel sorry for you. You ARE a troll, while I’m a guy who can sometimes be trollish, but am more than that.

          • No man… I was called in you. And what I found was you once again insulting people.

            I don’t use passive-aggressive insults. I use aggressive ones.

            I attack back AND to end it.

            Calling someone “INSECURE” is a fucking insult and an insulting dismissal.

            So that it why you got attacked.

          • whatever, dude. go work on your screenplay. attack ideas with your own ideas. YOU OWN. Not newSpeak. Not rote reciting of the same stale corporate-approved passive-aggressive insults that liberals use to trash people while still trying to hold the moral high ground. It’s cowardly.

          • And I find you just as stale and cliché ridden. If you actually had taken the time to see my other interactions on your site, you would have seen that I showed quite a lot of respect to the commenters. But now that I know it is your site, I feel as if I have stepped in shit, and need to scrape if from my shoe, or even perhaps burn the shoe. I am leaving not because you have scared me, or beaten me, but because you disgust me. Enjoy your amateur movie web site.

          • Was there an argument in there?

            LOL. You were fine to trash people all day until someone called you on your passive-aggressive bullshit.

            I explained to you very carefully why your positions and ideas ARE FUCKING BULLSHIT signal-repetition.

            And instead of refuting my points, you just flipped out and got all bitchy calling me a troll and using Melissa McCarthy jokes from 2016.

            Haha.

            Scared ass pussy. Get the fuck out of here.

          • Are you seriously trying to turn my every comment into some sign of acquiescence? How insecure are you? How pathetic are you, playing king of the hill?

          • No, tampax recepticle. I just want you to go and stop wasting your important life here. GO, please. LEAVE. Never come back.

          • Can’t you see the game I’m playing with you? I love denying the troll the last word. Everybody knows the saddest trolls never feel victorious unless they’ve had the last word.

            SO, I offer you two ways to win this, and get rid of me. One, you can ban me, and show me what a coward you truly are. Two, you can shut the fuck up, let me have the last word, then tell everybody what a sad troll I am because I had to have the last word.

            Of course, you can keep up the Tampax® jokes because that’s really clever.

          • HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I knew you had to have the last word. I knew you couldn’t slink away with your tail between your legs. I can’t wait to see your next comment, signaling your magnificent victory.

          • Just peeling back the onion on your evolving justification for why you are on this site wasting your time when you are obviously needed for rewrites on your important movie that is making you so much money…

          • This is boring. So is it just gonna be all foreplay with you two, or are you guys gonna finally fuck at some point?

            🙂

          • You have discordant views from many people here but you don’t go around calling them pussies. You explain your ideas and then let THEM freak out.

          • This is a very happy little web site. Until you showed up and started insulting people.

          • Shoes can be expensive. I wouldn’t burn them, if I were you!

            BTW, I resent being called an amateur! Yes, I cut my teeth at the Blockbuster in the mall, but I’ve since become a popular film critic and Internet celebrity!

          • I have no problem with you, Iggy. I don’t consider you an amateur. But you are presently on the web site of an alt-right wacko.

          • I know! I’ve hit hard times. Just between you and me, I’m looking at a more #woke environment to #work in, if you know what I mean. Also one that actually pays money. Online film critics are simply not given their due respect any more!

          • You can also be queerferish!

            Sorry, couldn’t resist. But you make a good point. I don’t know why we don’t all just get along, talk about movies, and send me tickets so I can spend more time talking about movies. Or screeners. Or DVDs. Blu-Rays. Or HD-DVDs, that would work, too. I’d love to discuss them! I just can’t pay for them right now.

          • Stripped of their rights? All minorities? Pakistanis? Mexicans? Which rights?

            WHO IS JUST NOW GETTING RIGHTS?

            The issue is the THEFT of culture and the promotion of the UNDESERVING.

            This is the beginnings of collectivism and racial hatred. You are on the side of the hate.

        • Because Trump is a racist… I get it… am I right???

          Wew. You shill as if the very whips of your masters were behind you!

  17. This has to be a sarcastic article . If it is dead serious then it is one of the most profoundly racist things I have seen these days next to right wing Trumpbots are left wing white progressives like the author of the article who presumes to speak for black people. ( and I am very much a liberal) The article is so condescending to black people yet the author seems oblivious.

    Black Panther ( a fictional character invented by two white Jewish New Yorkers) is an AWESOME film that can and will be enjoyed by people of every race. Using the racist cultural segregation logic of the author only black people should be the ones to listen to hip hop, Motown and soul music. Want to know how to fight racism? stop reducing people to their race and stop dividing people . I saw Black Panther in a theatre full of people of many colors- but all of the same race- human. The author will never get over his own racism and self loathing to see this. Black Panther is awesome!!

          • I totally want to see Black Panther. Fine, if you want a full confession, I haven’t seen it yet because I’m broke and, frankly, writing incisive critiques on web sites doesn’t pay as well as it used to. My food budget is fairly hefty, so I don’t have the money for collectibles or theater tickets the way I used to. If someone would just send me some frickin’ tickets I’d be lumbering out the door to go see the movie this afternoon! I love Black Panther! But it’s like $12.50 for a matinee here now! That’s the price of a whole bucket of KFC! And a man has to live!

        • I’m actually very excited to see Black Panther. Multiple times. I just don’t feel I should, until I know it’s okay for me to do so and I won’t be oppressing anybody. How will I know?

          When I’m sent two tickets. Or sent a screener. Or invited to a special screening, preferably catered by the studio.

    • I feel I must be strict about my principles. Real permission would involve him sending me tickets, so that I know he supports my “intrusion” in their space of diversity. Also, I need two tickets.

      Once I have those tickets, I will see the movie, of course. Indeed, if someone sent me more than two tickets, I would see it multiple times. But the tickets must be supplied in multiples of two!

  18. I’m absolutely amazed that the author wrote this article intending to be serious. You feel that white people shouldnt watch it because your presence would ruin the experience for black people? Could you give in any more to the radical liberal agenda of this countray, wow, grow a spine.

    And I refuse to watch this movie also, because it just has too much left wing black supremacism attached to it.

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