Back to the HasLab!

Hasbro Toys is currently developing a four-foot-long version of Jabba the Hutt’s sail barge (apparently an Ubrikkian design, named The Khetanna) and they’re accepting pre-release orders now.

I think Hutts are asexual, but check out Jabba’s big box!

You’ll Soon Learn Some Respect

The price tag is steep at $499.99, but check out the specs:

  • Jabba the Hutt figure (3.75″ scale) included!
  • Over four feet long!
  • Greater than one foot wide!
  • Over one foot high!
  • Thirteen pounds!
  • Cloth sails!
  • Cockpit for two pilots!
  • Brig for unruly guests or Sarlacc fodder!
  • A galley to feed Jabba’s enormous appetite!
  • Suit up action figures in the armory and try to ward off pesky Jedi Knights!
  • Jabba’s private lounge and future death-bed/rapid-cremation chamber!

Hasbro has a minimum pre-release order quantity of 5000 total units before they will go into production on this monster, yet it seems they are over halfway there with over 2600 orders on file.

You can find more details, including how to “fund” this monstrosity, on the HasbroLab site.

Jabba the Hutt
Jabba the Hutt could not be reached for comment

I Present To You A Gift: This Dumb Toy

I don’t know what it is in my heart that makes me want this thing. I suppose the easy and true answer is weakness. LucasFilm, Ltd. (LFL), in my opinion, is now fucked up beyond all recognition, yet upon reading this news my first reaction was happiness.

I Mean, Just Look How Cool It Is!

I figure Hasbro has already paid for the licensing rights so any profits would go to them and not into Kathy Kennedy’s purse, however I suppose in actuality I am simply driving up the cost of future licensing rights from LFL to Hasbro.

Fuck me.

GI Joe aircraft carrier
NOTHING will EVER be as fucking cool as THIS beast

Unless I win the lottery or find buried treasure, I am not going to order this thing so the point is moot. I just thought y’all might want to know that it’s out there.

Adios, amigos y amiguitas!


Vice-President of Stoicism at Film Goblin. Your resident American-Mexican! My parents blessed me with looks, charm, and a love of movies. Looking back on it all, I wish they'd blessed me with money instead. But hey, here we are, right? May Crom be praised, I LOVE MOVIES. I sincerely hope that you enjoy my work and that you genuinely laugh out loud sometimes. Yours, HTR