“Honey? Hey. It’s me. I just wanted to hear your voice…”

“Oh, no. Are you crying under your desk again?”


“We talked through this last night. You’re just doing a job. No shame in that.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“And if it wasn’t you, it would just be some other bland white guy in a suit.”

“I know.”

“Remember that guy who came up with that Taco Bell dog? And Spuds MacKenzie?”


“What did he do? He got in, made stacks of money, and then got out. That’s exactly what you are gonna do. Walk away clean.”

“Both those little pups are dead by now, Alice. Long dead. I wonder if they buried the poor little guy in the sunglasses and Hawaiian shirt? He wasn’t a womanizer! He was just an innocent dog…”

“You have to stop doing this to yourself. You’re working on Star Wars. THE STAR WARS. You’ve dreamed of this since you were a little boy.”

“Yeah. But it wasn’t like this. Not like this.

“What’s the newest pitch?”

“I don’t want to say.”

“You called me, remember? Some part of you WANTS to talk about this.”

“You know those red plastic cups everyone used at drunk parties in college?”

“Like for beer pong?”

“Yeah. Those are made by a company, Alice. The Solo company. Sometimes…they are actually called SOLO CUPS.”


“Yeah. That’s where Star Wars has gotten me. That’s the brilliant tie-in. The Han Solo movie. Solo cups. Get it?”

“That’s the one they’re going with?”

“Don’t you fucking get it? I wanted to really make a name for myself. Connect with people. Now what am I?”

“You’re a good man.”

“Not any more. I’ve sold my soul. For what? For what??”

“It’s not true! Remember “Who Da Man? Yoda Man!” from Episode II? Those were good years, honey. We fell in love.”

“There’s only one way out. I’m alone. Solo. Solo…”



Are YOU guys & gals super excited for Solo: A Star Wars Story? I know I am! Be sure to comment below! It hits theaters May 25, 2018!

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