While shilling for promoting his upcoming Pacific Rim sequel on British chat-cute The One Show, traitorous Storm Trooper and all-around useless male lead John Boyega revealed that there is a script for Star Wars: Episode IX and principal photography will begin in July of this year.

“I don’t know a thing, but I know I start filming in July. They’re prepping and planning. JJ has a script, but I just haven’t read it yet.”

John Boyega Uses The Force
I know what is not in the script: You using The Force.

I have no idea why this is being reported as news because woke-wonderkin and ruiner of franchises J.J. Abrams pretty much said the same exact thing on some political talk show about a month ago.

“We have a script, which is a big deal for me, It starts shooting end of July. Having a script in advance is something I haven’t always been lucky enough to have. I’m writing this with Chris Terrio, who is a genius, and I’m having a great time.”

So now the guy who wrote Batman Vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and The Justice League is a genius? Is that like someone calling their Golden Retriever a genius because it can do tricks that it was taught over and over again?

Genius. Photo ©johnlund.com
What is that expression? Disdain for plebs? #TimesUp terseness?

However, we do know some things about the movie already:

  • Han Solo and Princess Leia are not in it
  • Luke’s Force Ghost will be in it doing insane, wizard shit
  • Darth Vader will be in it (I have no idea how but they have no choice at this point)
  • Rose Tico: Nothing But Lovely, Lovely Rose Tico
  • There will be even more timely speeches about current social trends (Because Lucasfilm doesn’t learn from their mistakes)
  • John Boyega won’t do much of anything at all
  • Ky’ra or Kira or Kiara or whatever the female hero of Solo: A Star Wars Story is called will be in it after being frozen in carbonite for the last 50 years
  • There with be a gay character(s)
  • Someone will have weird facial piercings
  • Very few people will care about this movie

Anyone else have any predictions about what Episode IX will bring?