“I Take Pole”

One of my most famous quotes that has since come back to haunt me is:

“Once we convinced women to take pole dancing classes for fitness, we’d won.”

How young and truly foolish I was.

Now, I’m not into these Chicky-Chicky Bang-Bang movies.

There are some exceptions like almost clever Widows, but for the most part they’re goofy fun for Girls Night Out before or after a half gallon of strawberry appletinis. 

But it is great to see a woman of advanced age such as Jennifer Lopez looking so tight and right. It almost makes me want to think about dating women over thirty. 


Damn, She Can Work It

No, she really actually can. Check out some of her practice sessions:

Take a good look. Her flexibility, her sensuality, her training.

I see the power of belief. I see The Flygirls resurgent!

You see that, Brie? When you lift weights, we should see muscle.

Man, I’m beginning to think I chose the wrong life for myself.

I should have been a professional athlete or a successful record producer.

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Hustlers is going to be the third girl-gang movie in the last year and will likely land somewhere between the moderately successful Oceans 8 ($297M on a $70M budget) and the total disaster of The Kitchen ($11M on $38M). 

It looks and sounds like a much sexier set up that either of those movies:

Hustlers follows a crew of savvy former strip club employees who band together to turn the tables on their Wall Street clients. The film was inspired by the article published by New York Magazine entitled “The Hustlers at Scores” written by Jessica Pressler.

For the uninitiated, Scores is the strip club in NYC where Howard Stern and pretty every other famous degenerate hung out back ’90s and 2000s.

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More plastic than my action figure display case

Here Are Some TV Clips

Aw, she’s taking care of her grandma.

El oh el.

And yeah, Scores was absolutely known for jacking up your credit card if you didn’t watch yourself around them tricks.

More “Every rich person robbed you somehow so it’s OK to kill them” morality.


Damn, Jennifer Lopez looks sexy as hell. I definitely chose the wrong life.

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Hustlers gets in your pockets September 13, 2019. Only in theaters.