Save The Dinosaurs, Save The World

When I saw the first Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom teaser, let’s just say I had… questions.

Why would eccentric billionaire John Hammond build a multi-million-dollar dinosaur theme park on an island with volcanic activity?

John Hammond is a happy man!
“I did it! Wait….what?”

Who was the survey company who did the inspection, and did they report their findings?

¿Qué? No hablo velociraptor.”

Perhaps most importantly of all, WHY THE HELL WERE THEY GOING BACK?!?

“WE HAVE TO GO BA…..sorry, wrong series!”

Life Finds A Way

Set four years after the events of Jurassic World, some PETA-esque guilt has made our dashing hero (Chris Pratt) and beautiful heroine (Bryce Dallas Howard) return to save the innocent, man-eating dino’s from a gigantic, island ending volcano.

They are gonna need a butt-ton of doggie kennels!

Hoping that Claire leaves the high-heels at home this time, prepare to return to Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom on June 22, 2018.

Universal Studios presents Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, directed by J.A. Bayona (The Impossible, The Orphanage) and reunites Chris Pratt (Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 1 & 2) with Bryce Dallas Howard (Terminator: Salvation, The Help). They are joined by the great Jeff Goldblum (Jurassic ParkThor: Ragnorok), returning as chaos theory mathematician Dr. Ian Malcolm.

 

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19 COMMENTS

  1. I want all those dinos chasing them down that hill to bounce into some sappy trees, then get stuck together into one giant Dino Ball — like those teeth-cracking caramel popcorn balls — then Chris Pratt drills a hole in the side and lives in it, “James and the Giant Peach”-style, until a flock of seagulls carrying it with strings deposit him in the next “Guardians of the Galaxy” movie.

    • What I wanted (just me, as I am a geek) was to see more of the actual operations of the fully open and working theme park. That has been in the imagination since the first book / movie. Then a slower burn as we see systems fail one at a time, recovery efforts ramp up but the situation running away from their protocols, an “asset out of containment” then causing the evacuation efforts etc.

      It was all a bit too smash bang wallop for me with classic “kids in peril” as a central pillar.

      • I think after the second one, the park should’ve been scuttled but they’d continue to deal with the after effects of dinosaurs being accidentally reintroduced to the food chain as apex predators. Dinosaurs everywhere causing havoc!

  2. It has the title of an awful Transformers movie (sorry JR). Movies like this need to be made in the cheap, as fast as possible and by Roger Corman, AIP or Cannon.. Only then will we have the drive-in masterpiece this should be.

  3. I was enjoying the trailer until the end. That would have been a good moment to be surprised by while watching the movie (same with the T-Rex save in the teaser we saw a few months ago). I don’t know who that guy is, or how much he’s in the movie, but (thanks trailer) I now know he dies, and how he dies, and the exact moment he dies.

    Or maybe that’s his one and only scene, but it’s still a dick move to put it in the trailer because on the opposite side, the trailer just showed me how the protagonists get out of that particular pickle.

    So, either way, when I watch the movie, I get to be all “hey, here comes that bit where buddy bites it at the hands (jaws) of a jump-scare* attack from a flying-through-the-shot dinosaur.”

    This trailer is the equivalent of watching a movie with someone who’s already seen the movie and right before anything surprising or unexpected is about to happen he says “oh yeah, this is the part where…”.

    *could have been a jump-scare, had I not already seen it in the trailer.

  4. I got the sense that Goldblum’s only scene was what we saw in the trailer and he is never involved with the island shenanigans.

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