And Here…We…GO!!!

Disney’s new streaming service, Disney +, is starting off with a bang with multiple announcements coming from the D23 event around The Mandalorian, The Eternals, and the ongoing Sony/Disney dispute over Spider-Man.

What can we do to get you out of that soul and into this new streaming service today?

Lost in the shuffle, was the trailer drop for Lady and the Tramp, a live-action version of the animated film released in 1955, based on the article written by Ward Greene entitled “Happy Dan, The Cynical Dog,” in, of all places, Cosmopolitan Magazine.

Y’know, back when Cosmo was something more than half-assed personality tests, bad sex tips, and blinkered wine recipes for women.

Featuring the voice talents of Tessa Thompson (that Valkyrie woman) and Justin Theroux (Inland Empire and Mulholland Drive) with Ken Jeong, F. Murray Abraham, Sam Elliott, and Benedict Wong, and directed by Charlie Bean (Tron: Uprising and The Lego Ninjago Movie), Lady and the Tramp looks exactly like the 2018 Netflix Benji reboot playing on repeat in my house.

…she’s the one on the right next to the redhead.

Lady and the Tramp continues to tread the already well-trodden ground of Disney continuing to mine its past glories (The Lion King, Aladdin, The Jungle Book, Beauty and the Beast, et. al) in the hopes of increasing future audience success and recognition.

It’s not going to work, but they keep trying.

Check out the teaser trailer below:

What to Say About This That Hasn’t Already Been Said…

Well, for one, the whole “talking animal” thing is creepy on its face, and that’s a major issue with kids, women, and anybody who likes their romances “warm and fuzzy.” And when they show the iconic scene of the dogs eating spaghetti in the next, full-length trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

Second, how many more times do we need to watch this story play out with Disney animals across the big screen? I know that Disney released several “direct-to-video” sequels to its classic films in the late ’90s through early 2000s that wound up in the discount bin at Walmart.

This looks like a live-action, direct-to-consumer version of that same move they pulled 20 years ago.

Third, this is the first live-action remake that is going direct-to-consumer through their streaming service, Disney+.

Which is great and all for those of you with oodles of disposable income, except, like most parents of the demographic this movie is targeting, I already pay out the nose, for Hulu, Netflix, Amazon, HBO, and Cinemax.

I’m tapped out.

Stream Lady and the Tramp and make your kids happy (while I continue to disappoint mine), exclusively on Disney + on November 12, 2019!