What! Snakes on a Boat, You Say?
There are times when a movie looks like it will be a walloping stupid time.
Movies like The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then Bigfoot, Sharknado (all five of them), and for the more sophisticated among us, Snakes on a Plane, satisfy our hunger as film fans for something like film comfort food.
Well, there’s comfort food on the menu today kids. Kevin Durand, Michael Imperioli, Famke Janssen, and Nicolas Cage—yes, Nicolas Cage—star in Nicolas Powell’s latest film, Primal.
I don’t want to get in the way of excellence, so here’s the full trailer:
“You Kill My Cat, I’ll Blow Your Head Off.”
Produced by a number of people you’ve never heard of and written by stuntman Richard Leder, Primal allows Cage to display his fat, sweaty body on a cargo ship in the middle of the ocean, behaving like he’s a sophisticated fighter/killer.
And before you go believing other film review sites, and other earlier write-ups, no it does not look like Cage actually fights a large feline in this film.
It actually looks like him and the cat — maybe it’s a puma, I’m not sure on my large feline phylum — team up to take down the political assassin who is being renditioned by somebody to somewhere.
And I quote:
When Frank Walsh (Nicolas Cage), a hunter and collector of rare and exotic animals, bags a priceless white jaguar for a zoo, he figures it’ll be smooth sailing to a big payday.
But the ship bearing Frank’s precious cargo has two predators caged in its hold: the cat and a political assassin being extradited to the U.S.
After the assassin breaks free – and then frees the jaguar – Frank feverishly stalks the ship’s cramped corridors in hot pursuit of his prey, right up until the thrilling, unpredictable climax.
Ahh. A jaguar. OK. That makes sense.
Nic Cage Is Our Greatest Living Treasure
Cage’s body of work is a step above other actors of his caliber who have attempted to throw away their legacy in forgettable tripe while trying to pay off their massive financial debts and do the right thing.
Remember, Cage won an Oscar once and was nominated for another.
Primal is set to release your inner jaguar with Cage’s “Nouveau Shamanic” acting style in theaters and on VOD and every other digital service you can imagine on November 8, 2019.
