When asked why he robbed banks, John Dillenger allegedly stated:

“Because that’s where the money is.”

When asked why you don’t try to break into prison, Trollprince says:

“Because that’s where the prison is.”

Potato-Dee, Potato-Do

Jai Courtney is the perfect person for a movie about something so stupid. 

From the official summary:

Cal is a by-the-book police officer who, along with his close-knit group of childhood friends, makes ends meet as a Marine Corps reservist. When Cal’s reckless younger half-brother, Oyster, is arrested after a bar fight and given an unfair prison sentence, Cal — driven by his loyalty to family and fierce code of honor — fights for Oyster in this gripping tale of brotherhood and sacrifice.

God-damn that is incredibly dumb. Here are some better alternatives:

  • Hire a real lawyer before any of this shit happened.
  • Rob a bank. Use the money to hire a real lawyer who can beat the bullshit case.
  • Hire a real lawyer in order to get the brother back in a low-security environment like a courthouse. Then bust him out!
  • Buy him a Farrah Fawcett poster.

Semper Fi drools into theaters, On-Demand & on digital October 4, 2019.

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