A Thousand Shitposters Live In You Now

I wish I was this clever on my best day — after a fish meal. 

I don’t what it is about this new generation of shitposters — maybe it’s Adderal — but they have consistently spoken truth to stupidity on every single trailer and clip that drops for The Rise Of Skywalker on YouTube and been hilarious doing it.

Take the latest TV spot, for example.

Unironically entitled “Celebrate” — celebrate what? the end? — it features all of the iconic images you’ve come to expect from Star Wars including lightsaber duels, massive space battles, crazy flying close-calls and more massive space battles.

Yes, it also features things you’ve come to expect from Disney Wars including terrible CGI character inserts, defenseless droids charging into combat and, straight from the JJ Abrams “Don’t Think Just Buy” school of filmmaking, space horses charging across what appears to be the exterior of a Star Destroyer in space.

YouTube Is Not Having It

These are top comments. Meaning they are the most upvoted by other users who I assume are Star Wars fans.

  • I swear Palpatine will just sit on his throne and commentate the entire film whilst it’s happening
    • Palpatine is too smart to watch this trash.
    • It will be Deadpool with fourth wall breaks, he will just sit there and critique the film in a theater lmao
  • 2019: the saga will end.  2021: Star Wars: A Star Wars Story.
  • Fans: Are we done with TV Spots?  Disney: There is another.
  • How Star Wars TV spots work: Rearrange the already existing trailers and add 1 second of new footage.
  • Please give Finn a new line other than screaming, “Whoooo” or “Reeeyyy” 😂

Let’s Be Fair

There are a few comments like this:

  • Leia… 🙁 Miss you space mom (Carrie) you will always be in my heart, as well as many others. Gone, but never forgotten. Like Luke said, no one’s ever really gone. <3 Looking forward to seeing her on the big screen again (with the unused footage of course), one last time.
  • This film is going to be an emotional rollercoaster! 😢🔥💖
  • These trailers are getting me so hyped!

But that’s really it. Three absolutely positive comments with more than single-digit upvotes while most of the positive comments getting one upvote or none at all. 

There is a lot of comments that crack a joke and then say they are looking forward to the movie but they seem to be from people more interested in the trainwreck or seeing if the rumors are true then any real excitement about the story.

I Get It

After the Knives Out disaster, it’s a mistake to rely on Youtube to judge interest in a theatrical release.

But you know what tool has never let us down?

If we had merely fired up Google Trends and compared Knives Out to 21 Bridges we would easily observed a predictable outcome. 

What does Trends tell us about The Rise Of Skywalker? It’s too early to tell. 

Or is it?