We are getting close to the end, and more importantly, just days away from the big day!
I was debating this or best Christmas songs, but I love to crap on bad movies more than praise good songs. Besides, there is always next year!
Let’s face it, there is a boatload of bad movies made every year. And like every year someone thinks the world needs another version of Santa Baby. Do we really need 160 versions of A Christmas Carol?
Fortunately, most of the stinkers below are so bad, no one has tried to remake them.
#5 Santa Clause: The Movie (1985)
The Salkind’s thought that they could recreate the magic of the 1978 film Superman: The Movie
#4 How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Ron Howard thought he could capture the heart and magic of the 1966 Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
#3 Jack Frost (1998)
This one is so bad, I almost want to watch Shannon Elizabeth get assaulted by a carrot and an evil snowman in the other Jack Frost film.
How did Michael Keaton and Kelly Preston get roped into this???
Watch this instead:
#2 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
Ed Wood is embarrassed by this film.
#1 A Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Remember when this film had a resurgence a couple of years ago by a bunch of tween girls?
My daughter was one of them and she had to have everything in her room decorated with Jack Skellington crap.
The worst part of this was having to sit through this steaming pile of shit during that craze.
Thank God she is over this wretched film and I will never have to see it again.
Forgot to mention, this is a pretty bad film overall. I also like how they market this as Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas. They want you to believe that Tim directed this.
Other films to avoid:
The Polar Express (2004)
More dead-eye creepy creations from Robert Zemeckis.
Home Alone 3 (1997)
Deck The Halls (2006)
The Santa Clause (all of them)
Just bad films, I guess Tim had to pay for his cocaine somehow.
A Christmas Story 2 (2012)
I have not seen the original, nor have I seen this one, but to use a review from IMDB:
“This movie was awful. Over acting, horrible script, and it did a great dis-service to the original movie. The only worse than this was the Star Wars Holiday Special.
I recommend NEVER watching this. If you own a copy, burn it. With any hope it will only have mention of it on IMDb.com and people will wonder if it was any good. I hope that the actors can successfully ignore the fact that they were in this film. It must have been directed at 7 year old kids. Funny thing is that you can make a movie for kids and not have it suck so bad that parents burn it.
DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. Your life will be better having never seen it.”
Somebody give me a goddamn drink.