We Celebrate The Many Happy Celebrity Weddings We Have Been Blessed To Witness Over The Years

Because apparently, absolutely nothing of any real importance happened on this day in all of the history of entertainment.

Nothing. Not a God damn thing.

So let’s get this over with:

In 1940 Actress Mary Martin wed producer Richard Halliday. Mary and Richard are best known for being the parents of Larry Hagman of Dallas fame. And not much else worth sharing.

Outcome: Still married, but dead.

In 1978, Anson Williams wed Lorrie Maheffey. Anson was known by all the free world as Potsie from Happy Days. I guess nobody really loved Potsie the way they loved Chachi because Anson now sells mattresses in Milwaukee.

Outcome… DIVORCED!

In 1990 Paul Hogan got hitched to Linda Kozlowski. Paul is best known as the proprietor and spokesperson of Australia’s biggest Koala bear sausage-making factory and was the inspiration for countless Animal Planet shows. Linda is currently a spokeswoman and model for a company the manufactures new plastic heads for women over 50.

Outcome… Divorced and ugh.

In the year 2000, after surviving the Y2K holocaust, Angelina Jolie tied the knot with Mr. Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob won an Oscar for playing an R rated version of Forrest Gump and Angelina is currently a goodwill ambassador for the landmine industry. Something about using booby-trapped explosives to solve the problem of 3rd-world, homeless children.

Outcome… DIVORCED, surprising that.

So there you have it. Just pathetic.

Sorry for wasting everyone’s time.

Bookmark FilmGoblin.com to stay in the know!