Merry Christmas, buttheads.

As fucking awful as were this year’s Cinematic offerings, new television offerings in 2018 were for the most part just as fucking terrible.

Thankfully Cobra Kai saved the year for tv akin to how Infinity War saved the big screen, both washing the shit taste out of our mouths in a sea of putrid mediocrity and outright fucking suckage.

For those playing along at home, these are new shows that made their debut in 2018.

Got it? Good. Let’s play.

Best of Television 2018

1. Cobra Kai

Best television viewing experience in years. Maybe since before Game Of Thrones jumped the shark and became stupid fanwank. This is a perfect TV show. Easily one of the top ten shows of all time.

If you didn’t like it you’re probably a fucking lardass SJW pussy, so fuck off.

Men being men teaching boys to be men

2. The Alienist

What marvelous show. Daniel Bruhl is fabulous playing an American Sherlock Holmes with a psychological bent in turn of the century New York. They spent money and spent wisely on this production and it shows. The CGI blends seamlessly with practical sets and cinematography recreating the industrial grit and grandeur of late 19th century New York. Grim, intelligent, witty, dark, exciting.

Not without a few minor blemishes but magnificent.

Daniel Brûhl and Luke Evans are perfect as Caleb Carr’s Industrial Revolution spin on Holmes and Watson.

Work of art

3. Jack Ryan

Pretty damn good. Actually portray Islamic fundamentalists as terrorist barbarians instead of Hollywood’s imaginary goto terrorist placeholders, German/Russian blond evil white guys. Points for that bit of realism alone.

Not perfect but pretty damn entertaining.

And it has the great dude from the Wire as the co-star.

I miss The Wire. Btw, does this dude not age?

4. Titans

Liked it, don’t care who the showrunners are. It’s on whole a good show and regardless who the showrunners are its the polar opposite of that CW diarrhea. Hawk and Dove should have their own show and it’s the first time Robin jumps off the pages of the comic book in a serious way as the real heir to the cowl.

Better than Justice League

5. Altered Carbon

100%  pure, unapologetic Blade Runner ripoff but you know what? Don’t care it works. Was a really good show, kept me guessing (mostly) was engrossing and it looked like a Douglas  Trumbull and young Ridley filmed the thing. Joel Kinnaman proved he is a leading man with the right material. Good effort here.

Like tears… in the rain

Everything else that made its debut in 2018 was entirely forgettable, put me to sleep or pretty much fucking sucked with a few shittacular standouts.

Worst Television of 2018

1. Manifest

A Lost wannabe with bland, SJW archetype characters and the lead character is actually a cuck who is portrayed as loving and sympathetic for being a complete loser cuck.

I suppose being lauded for being a cuck is the newest Hollywood SJ feminist cause de jour.

Not one hot chick in the cast. Awful writing, awful cast handpicked apparently by quota, awful show.

Pussy cuck and ugly chick. Heroes of the left.

2. Sharp Objects

Horrible, depressing ball of shit. Not high art, just high shit. I imagine pretentious pseudo-intellectuals at some Greenwich Village outdoor wine and cheese bistro lauding its bravery and intelligence and daring. Assholes!

Who greenlighted this shit?

3. Nightflyers

Worst show I’ve ever seen. They canceled The Expanse for this bucket of shit?

Has nothing to do with this show other than writing the short story years ago. Rolled out by SyFy to appear he does. Paid in meth and tranny hookers

4. The Neighborhood

Because Melgarga says it sucks

There ya have it. A couple of exceptional shows with one being an all-time great. The rest sucked felch. Not a banner year for Hollywood.

Thank you, Cobra Kai, for being a shining beacon of awesomeness in a sea of shit.

Hope you all have a MERRY CHRISTMAS and are blessed to spend time with wonderful friends and family.