Ole Billy Blasterballs!

We’ve got a lot of mileage around here out of speculating about what exactly will be the “big surprise” in The Mandalorian.

A lot of mileage. But make no mistake, this is Lucasfilm by Disney, so there will be a surprise. We’ve heard as much, straight from the mouths of the cast.

We’re pretty sure the grand reveal is going to be a woman under the helmet. Even money says that the woman will be Phoebe Mary Waller-Bridge.

Image result for Phoebe Mary Waller-Bridge helmet

This second trailer from Disney does nothing to dissuade us from our theory.

In fact, there is a moment in the trailer that indeed does point to something strange going on under that silver helm.

You tell me I’m lying:

What Do We See?

  • Two stormtroopers riding Dewbacks or similar mounts.
  • An attack on The Mandalorian by a few Trandoshans, the same race of creatures as Bossk, the lizard bounty hunter from Empire Strikes Back.
  • Various bounty hunter badassery. Carbonite. The Emancipation One. A cantina.
  • “Parsec?” What the fuck? See, these people don’t understand Star Wars. They have an NPR or Buzzfeed understanding of the franchise. They actually think “parsec” was a mistake, so now they have to make a little in-joke about it.
  • The Mandalorian and Dylan straight-up wrecking some stormtroopers.
  • Alderaanian refugees Mandalorian allies abandoned by Grand Moff Drumfkin and being attacked by those buff battledroids from Revenge Of The Sith.
  • Various action shots and team-building exercises.
  • Ole Bountyhunter Bill dual-wields blasters with the shoulder-cannon! All right, dood!
  • Expert use of both the grappling line and the jetpack. This is not your grandfather’s Boba Fett.
  • Julia Jones about the show us who is under that helmet!
Get ready, ya incels!

That’s really a lot to take in. 

Again, it looks amazing. But all the shills who said Solo was great are give this show the thumbs up.

Will it be more propaganda with a Star Wars skin or is Iger in control of the Lucasfilm ship until Feige can fully come on board?

You’ll find out on November 13, 2019, when you torrent this shit.

Image result for fan art mandalorian