No, It’s Not Tony. It’s Goop.

And Goop is more annoying than untreated eczema. It’s not that I begrudge a lady entrepreneur her trade — everyone has a right in this country to take advantage of rubes — it’s just that I have a hard time believing that her customers are spending their money on these pointless trinkets and baubles.

As a man who makes a lot of money off “crystal bangers,” I can assure you that Goop’s rocks are trash

Other Than That, Goop Is Great!

She’s gorgeous, talented and has real screen presence complete with actual emotions and facial expressions. In movies. Smiling on the red carpet does not count, Brie.

She also seems like an all-around good grill:

“I’m very much the marrying kind,” she recently told Marie Claire UK. “I love being a wife. I love making a home.”

And she’s always been a classy dresser! The total package!

Rescue Goop > Captain Grumpy

So if I had to choose who should lead The Avengers after all the male characters that we know and love are dead, and if it has to be a chick — because it obviously has to be a chick — then I am voting for Team Goop over Team Grump all day, every day!

Now, I give you our great Goop girl in her new Rescue suit:

Just look at her… the passion, the expressiveness, the femininity

For anyone who stopped reading comics in the early 1990s, this is the Rescue armor.

Rescue is a version of the Iron Man armor that can generate powerful shields to protect and “rescue” her teammates who get into trouble in the battlespace.

And no, Mr. Stark, it does not come in black.

Ass like a ten-year-old droid!

So is this the first “leaked” new character that we’ve seen from Avengers: Annihilation? I honestly can remember but it seems like it is the first one.

Which new character will leak next? Hopefully Ronin. What a crossover this will be!

He ambushed Thanos with a cup of coffee [ Art by GabrielTToro ]